Fractured Lives
by citrus luver
Summary: This is the life of Jim Kirk, or it is Jane Kirk? Jim Kirk had always known he was different. This is his journey to find a place called home and a family...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **This was inspired by a prompt on the Buckle-up meme on Live Journal. However since the actual fill of the prompt won't happen for a while to prevent spoilers I won't reveal what the actual prompt is until most of the prompt has been filled.

Warning! This fic will contain eventually contain suicide attempt, implied/referenced child abuse, medical experimentation and trauma, and child abandonment. A large fraction of this fic will be very dark.

I'm also 100% not an expert in many of the themes covered in this fic. Some of the themes I have experience with while others I do not. I sincerely hope I do not offend anyone. I will accept any advice wholeheartedly.

There is also some hand wavy science to make the premise of this fic work.

Please enjoy.

**Fractured Lives**

**Chapter 1**

In the wake of World War III, the nuclear blast that had eliminated a large fraction of the world's population had also changed the ideology behind reproduction. It seemed that the old adage that the universe strove to maintain its constant was once again proving to be true.

Gender classification became more difficult. Since the dawn of time, the popular belief was that males were classified as those with XY chromosomes which allowed for the formation of male sex organs while females were classified as those with XX chromosomes which allowed for the formation of female sex organs. Prior to the war, a few people with genetic defects possessed more Xs and Ys than biologically suitable. However, they were mostly sterile or a select few were fertile in one direction.

With the dawn of the new era, an onslaught of children born in the wake of nuclear warfare possessed the genetic makeup of both XX and XY. They were born with both eggs and sperm, and they possessed a working uterus and testicles. Purists claimed that these children were unnatural and a byproduct of unethical eugenics experiments. They lobbied for these children to be rounded up and purged from society.

By the 22nd century, this genetic anomaly had long been believed to be eradicated by medical advancements and gene therapy. However by the 23rd century, male pregnancy was thrown into the forefront of medical research. Male-male bonded mates longed to have biological children of their own. Most turned to surrogacy and gene splicing. However there were some that longed for that nine month bonding experience shared between a mother and her unborn child. This research became classified as Plan R.

Even at a young age, Jim Kirk knew he was different. He knew his daddy died the day he was born, and it made his mommy sad. While most children received the comfort of their parents growing up, his mother couldn't bear to even look at him. All she could see in him was his dead father.

His older brother Sammy was two and a half when their daddy died. Jim saw it in his brother's eyes. Jim and their mommy had come home, but their daddy did not. Jim grew up knowing that his brother blamed him for their daddy's death. That somehow it was Jim's birth that had caused their daddy to die. There were more times than Jim could count when Sammy would start to play too rough. Jim always wondered if Sammy thought he could switch Jim for their father.

There was also Jim's little gift. At least that's what Granny Davis called it. She was the only one that saw it as a gift. His mommy didn't talk about it, and Sammy was too angry and too bitter. Granddad Jim was old and a little senile. Grandma Kirk would burst into tears, for she could only see her dead little boy with so much lost potential while Grandpa Tiberus just seemed to want nothing to do with him.

Jim always thought that everyone was like him. It was only one scorching Iowan summer day when he was seven that he learned differently. Sammy had just turned ten. Sammy had proudly proclaimed he was a big boy now not like Jimmy. He had two digits to his age.

Their mommy was home. She was always home for Sammy's birthday. She seemed sad and aggravated every time Jim tried to get her attention. He had made her a drawing of the stars and Daddy's starship. They were all on Daddy's bridge: Jim, Sammy, Mommy and Daddy. They were all smiling and going to see worlds that no man had gone before.

"Take your brother with you, George," Mommy finally said after the fourth time Jim tugged on her pant leg.

"Aww, Ma, do I have to? He'll only get in the way." Sam was already one foot out the door.

Jim guessed it was the look their mommy gave him, but Sammy agreed to let Jim tag along. It seemed to take less persuasion than normal. They were well past the edge of the farm and walking down the only gravel path in Riverside when Sammy stopped them. He turned around and stared at Jim.

"We're going skinny dipping, Jimmy. Don't do anything funny." Sammy poked him hard in the chest.

Jim opened his mouth to protest. Mommy had always told him to keep his clothes on, but the look in Sammy's eyes and that Sammy hadn't ditched him on the edge of the farm like he normally did. Sammy was letting him play… no… hang out with the big kids. Jim immediately closed his mouth. "I won't Sammy. I promise."

When they finally arrived at the pond, it seemed all the kids in the neighborhood that Sammy always said were cool were there. Most were already in the water. Jim's eyes widened. He couldn't help from staring. He had never seen so many bodies. None of them were wearing any clothes. He probably should have realized then. Sammy punched him in the side. "Stop staring, Jimmy," Sammy hissed into his ear.

Jared, Sammy's best friend, was the first to notice them. "George," he called out. Jared had a loud voice. Everyone else called Sammy George. It was his real name. It was also their daddy's name. Sammy pulled him along by the shirt sleeve. Jim tried to pull free, but Sammy's grip just got tighter.

"You brought Jimmy?" Jared wrinkled his nose. Jared never liked him. Jim figured that Jared saw him only as a bratty little kid like his own little brothers and sisters. Jim didn't like Jared or his siblings. He went to school with Jared's little brother. He wanted to be Jim's best friend just like Jared was Sammy's, but Jim wasn't interested in digging in the sand or playing with cars. Jim liked the stars, and he wanted to explore new worlds. He was going to be a Starfleet captain like his daddy, but he never said that anymore. Sammy had given him weird looks and said that his head was still stuck in the stars. His mommy had never looked sadder, not even on his birthday.

"Yeah," Sammy shrugged his shoulder. He had a twinkle in his eyes. He always had that look in his eyes when he was going to do something bad or devious. Sammy pushed him forward. "Go on, Jimmy. Go change." He said it a little too loudly.

Jim tugged on his shirt hem. He really didn't want to. Jared must have noticed. He smirked. "Yeah Jimmy. I thought you wanted to hang with us. Everyone is changing behind that tree." Jared pointed to a large willow tree. It was away from everyone else. It was also along the edge of the pond. He could easily jump right into the water.

Jim nodded. The willow was bigger than it looked as he walked closer. Once he was sure that he was away from peering eyes, he started to undo his belt buckle. He wasn't sure how he didn't hear, but just as he was pulling off his underwear there was a loud shriek behind him. He immediately turned around. His underwear bundled in his hands. Alison Carmichael was standing behind him. Her face was as pale as snow. "Jimmy has girl parts!" She finally managed to scream out.

All the other kids surrounded them at that point. He saw Sam chuckling in the distance. However, when they started screaming crueler things the smile on Sam's face fell.

Jim wasn't sure who the first person he punched was. His face was red and blotchy. His blue eyes were blazing and blaring. Salt tears and mucus from his nose had dribbled down and combined together as they trailed down his face. He felt like a feral animal. It took two pairs of arms to finally pull him off of Peter Jenkins. Jim was kicking and screaming. His only consolation was that Peter looked worse than he felt.

Old man Rockabee drove them home. He had looked murderous when he wrapped Jim in a thin woolen blanket. He had barely looked at Jim as he handed him his mud soaked clothes and pushed him into the back of his hover truck. Sam looked sullen the whole way home, and that okay for Jim. Jim refused to look at Sam and spent the whole ride looking out the window. Jim's face was still splotchy, and his nose was starting to hurt when Rockabee pulled up in front of the Kirk farm house.

Jim pulled the blanket tightly around his body as he trudged up the stairs. The doorbell barely rang once before their mommy answered. She looked tired, and suddenly Jim felt sorry for what he had done. "James! George!" Jim saw his mommy purse her lips as she scanned them. She rarely called him James. She only did it when she particularly angry with him.

"Found the boys by the pond. A fight broke out." Jim wondered if his mommy's eyes could get any wider. "They appeared to have been skinny dipping."

She nodded. She looked at Sam. Sam kicked a rock next to his foot. "Thank you." She managed to say. It seemed to take a lot of energy out of her.

"No problem." Rockabee tipped his hat and left. They stood in silence as Rockabee backed his truck out of the gravel drive way and drove away.

His mommy pulled him forward at that point. She looked at him. Jim wondered if his mommy had ever looked at him for such a long time before. She finally sighed. "Go to your room, Jimmy." His mommy whispered. She looked so sad and tired. She never disciplined him. He thought that for once she would. It seemed she never knew what to do with him. Jim nodded. He walked into the house. He heard Sam follow him. "Not you, George. We need to talk."

Jim saw from the corner of his eyes his brother's scowl. "Jimmy's the one that started it," he grumbled out.

"George." His mother really did sound mad. Jimmy quickly scuttled up stairs.

Jim didn't know what their mommy said to Sam. She never disciplined in the house. She always took Sam away, deeper into the field. When they returned, he saw that Sam was favoring his left side, and his hazel eyes were teary.

Dinner that night was quiet and somber. It was only Jim and Mommy. She placed a plate of replicated food in front of him. She never cooked. He figured it was because she spent so much of her time in space where she only ate replicated food.

Sam found him on the roof after dinner. It wasn't that he was hiding. He liked going up onto the roof. He felt it was the closest he could get to his daddy.

"Hey, Jimmy."

"Go away." Jim muttered.

"Jimmy." Sam sighed.

Jim whipped around. He wasn't stupid. He knew. He knew Sam had done it on purpose. "Go away Sam."

"Jimmy look, I know I messed up."

"You think." Jim rubbed his shirt sleeve over his blazing blue eyes. He stood up. Even at seven-years-old, he was almost the same height as Sam. His brother backed up. Jim glared at him before he pushed him. He pushed Sam hard. It felt good. No wonder Sam was always coming home with letters from school that he had been caught fighting. Sam faltered and landed hard on his butt. He let out a loud howl as he jolted back up. Jim laughed.

He noticed a small scowl start to form on Sam's face, but it quickly disappeared. "Feel better?"

"Not really, but that was pretty funny." Jim laughed again.

Sam scratched the back of his neck. He always did that when he was nervous. "Yeah, I guess it was. Look, Jimmy." He toed the back of his right heel. "I've been a jerk." Jim crossed his arms. "For your whole life," Sam quickly added. "You don't deserve it. We're brothers: the only Kirk's left. It's us… together… against the world Jimmy."

"Grandpa Tiberus and Uncle James and …"

Sam slapped his forehead. "I'm trying to make a dramatic speech here, Dummy."

"I thought you were apologizing." Jim tried to sound mad.

"And you're making it really hard, Jimmy."

Jim glared at Sam. The glare didn't last long before they both cracked large smiles. They collapsed onto the roof. They lay there side by side. It had been a long time since Sam came out here to star gaze with him. Sam never liked the stars very much. "Together always," Sam whispered. He curled their fingers together. Jim smiled. As they stared up into the night sky, life was suddenly looking good. It seemed even the stars were twinkling extra bright.

**Author's Notes: **According to some online Star Trek encyclopedia (memory ?), it stated that Winona's maiden name was Davis. Unfortunately, I could not find any of Jim's grandmothers' first names anywhere. I will attempt to avoid needing to use them. However if it gets too strange later on, I will make some up unless it's actually stated in some novel or comic.

Also, Memory Beta stated that George Kirk Sr. actually has a brother named James. Original I know.

Thank you for reading. I will attempt a weekly update.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

However Jim should have known. Sam was never good at keeping promises. His mother had been sad and aggravated because of Frank. They met him a week later.

Mommy made them dress in their Sunday bests. Jim thought they looked silly, but Sam just looked murderous. He kept giving their mommy the stink eye as if she had broken all the laws in the universe. Sam punched him in ribs when he asked. "You're so stupid Jimmy."

When Jim punched back, their mommy didn't even notice. She was too busy looking out the window and fiddling with the flowers. She never bought flowers. They were pretty. It made their house look brighter. Jim probably should have realized then that something was wrong, but Mommy was rarely home, and their android babysitter was hardly a good example.

Frank was big and beefy. He looked like just the opposite of Daddy. Everything Daddy was; Frank was not. While Daddy had a pretty smile and blue eyes, Frank wore a constant frown and had dark grey eyes. He was a hover car mechanic from Iowa City. It was an uncomfortable afternoon. It was hot and sticky.

Frank left after dinner. They watched their mommy kiss Frank on the front porch through the windows in the living room. She didn't even notice that had been there. Sam stomped off, but Jim was just confused. He thought his mommy loved his daddy. Wasn't that why she was always so sad? Wasn't that why she always spent her days in space, so she could be closer to Daddy?

The next day, Mommy sat them down in the living room: Sam and Jim on the couch and Mommy across from them. Sam folded his arms. He was not impressed. She promised them many things that day. She promised them that things would change. They could be a real family now with a mommy, a daddy, George, Jim, and more. She promised no more space missions. She was going to get a dirt side positing. Sam pursed his lips, but Jim started entertaining the thought that maybe Frank could be their new daddy. He had seen the holo videos of his daddy playing with Sam. He saw how happy Mommy had been back then. She had a pretty smile. Maybe Frank could make Mommy happy again. Maybe Frank could play with him. Maybe he could finally do those father and son activities that he saw and heard his classmates participate in. Maybe he and Frank could enter the annual father and son chariot race.

Mommy and Frank got married a month later. He heard the words shotgun wedding and convenience whispered under the breaths of the attendees. At seven, Jim didn't even know what they had meant.

But Frank wanted his own kids. After Mommy's second miscarriage, the words "cursed womb" traveled around Riverside. Even Jim knew that miscarriages were rare in the 23rd century. Sam tried to shield him from it, but Jim heard. He heard it all. That it was Jim's abnormality that broke Mommy, and that was why she couldn't have any more kids. That Jim wasn't really his daddy's son, and his mommy had 'affair', and it was all celestial judgment.

Mommy started traveling again soon after that, and Frank became angry and abusive. Jim guessed that she gave up on having a normal family after that.

He probably should have given Sam more credit. He did last five years of living with an angry Frank. Sam was fifteen when he ran away from home. It had started after a stupid argument. Sam wanted to spend the night at his friend's house. Frank forbade it because he could.

That same day Jim drove their dad's prized Chevy convertible into the Riverside quarry. It was last thing Jim had of his father. He never felt more alive clinging to the edge of the cliff or jumping out of the spending car. He thought he could make the jump. He thought he could finally leave Riverside.

Their mom came home furious and confused. "Why Jimmy? Why."

Jim wanted to tell her about Frank. How cruel and awful he was. That Frank was abusive and angry. That he would hit him and Sam after he drank too much at the bar. That Frank had driven Sam away. That Frank wanted to sell his dad's car, and it better lying in the bottom of the quarry than in someone else's hands. That he was being unfaithful to her and would entertain women and men in their bed, in their living room… everywhere. Instead Jim bit his lips and refused to look her in the eyes. She eventually gave up and left. It wasn't hard. Giving up was something she was good at.

The next day, when Jim woke up he found the space between his legs and bed sheets soaked with blood. He screamed thinking it was divine punishment. He was going to die, and his dad would come home.

His mom found him screaming. When she saw the blood red sheets, she closed the door and held him close. Jim wasn't sure she had ever done that before. She told him about the people of the past. She told him that he was a special little one. After he took a warm bath, she taught him how to use a tampon and gave him a training bra. She scheduled an appointment with a doctor in Chicago the next day. It was at a small, classified hospital. Jim wondered if his mother was ashamed of him.

They left early in the morning. They took a small dilapidated freighter out from Riverside Shipyard. It was a supply vessel. His mother sat in the front with the pilot while Jim sat with the merchandise. They were old starship parts. Jim could name them all.

The hospital was cold and menacing. The waiting room was filled with old people. They were all old and wrinkly. They reminded Jim of his granddad James. Jim swung his legs as his mother filled out his paperwork. When they finally called for him, his mother didn't come with him. She simply pushed him forward. Before he disappeared behind the double swinging doors, he saw her pull out a cigarette. He wondered when she started smoking.

The nurse led him to a room in the back. It was small room. There was a large bio bed in the center of the room. Jim immediately recognized it as an older model. Sam used to show him holos of bio beds. He had always been interested in medicine and science unlike Jim who liked physics and mechanical parts. There were other machines humming along the walls. A large fluorescent light swung above him.

Jim gulped. His hands became sweaty. He tried to wipe them on his pant legs. The nurse handed him a gown before leaving. He found himself sitting on that biobed in a gown that barely covered his thighs for what felt like hours. He thought he would die in that room before a large porky man entered. He introduced himself as John… just John. He listed the procedures and tests in big, sophisticated scientific terms. Jim wasn't sure who he was trying to impress.

The tests started out simple and easy. John took his height, his weight and his blood pressure. He easily recited out the letters that were reflected on the wall in the distance. He could easily distinguish his 'U's from his 'V's and his 'F's from his 'P's. Eye tests never involved easy letters.

However everything changed when John had him lay down on the biobed and hooked him up to all the sensors. He maneuvered his legs into a pair of birthing stirrups. He wondered how he hadn't noticed them earlier. He started at his chest and worked his way down. He pressed and probed with his hands and with a tricorder. Jim had always thought medical tricorders allowed for a more hands off approach.

Jim could state the exact moment where everything became less friendly. He could see the glim and excitement that suddenly appeared in John's eyes. John had worked his way to his lower regions. He was sitting on a stool. His forehead was barely blinking out from behind the gown. He could feel John fingers sliding around his private parts. They were cold and hard. He squirmed. It earned him a hard slap on his legs. John tightened the straps on the stirrups.

Jim watched as John bolt upwards minutes later. He watched him hastily removing his gloves before reaching for the door knob. John disappeared through the door. The door closed with a loud bang. Jim cringed. Not long afterwards, John led in a team of doctors in white lab coats. They were all holding PADDs.

They didn't even bother to introduce themselves. Jim wondered if they even realized he was a human being. Their eyes were all so cold and daunting. They reminded him so much of Frank. One by one they sat down in the seat John had vacated. He felt each and every one of them touch him. It was cold and impersonal: plastic on skin.

He looked away after the third one. His glaze flickered between the posters of dental hygiene, the digestive track, and eyeballs. His face burned red. He thought doctors were supposed to be friendly and kind. He was blushing ten shades of red by the sixth.

His palms got sweaty. The straps tied around his legs felt biting as if they were digging into his skin. He felt sick. He wanted to scream, to hit something, anything. He wanted to run away. The wall seemed to physically close in. He felt violated. He felt like a circus animal on display.

It was humiliating. It was invasive. He was going to puke. He choked back a loud sob when the last doctor finally left the chair, and John loosened the straps. He guessed they were doctors. However, the way they talked in hushed voices about how rare he was as if he wasn't even in the room, he wasn't so sure. He recognized the looks in their eyes. It was the same look he saw in Sam's eyes when he became excited about one of his plant specimens.

They left soon after that. It was just him and John again. He hated John. John had called in the doctors. He struggled when John grabbed his arm. John must be retaliating when he grabbed his arm tighter than necessary and stabbed him hard with the needle. He watched as his blood drained through the clear tube and into one of the machines along the walls.

He wondered if he gone through every type of medical tests in the books by the time John finally handed him his clothes and gruffly told him to go to consultation room ten after he was done changing.

He was never going to set foot in a hospital ever again.

He found his mother there. John and one of the doctors that had 'examined' him were also there. It was one of the older men. His hair line was already receding. He was now wearing glasses which confused Jim. Nobody wore glasses anymore. He sat down in the only empty chair left. It was between the doctor and his mother.

The doctor handed his mother a PADD. "Your son is a medical phenomenon. His existence could change science, mankind, and reproduction as we know it," the doctor gushed out.

His mother frowned. She set down the PADD. She glared back at the doctor. At that moment, Jim saw an inkling of the commanding officer in his mother. "My son is not a test specimen." Jim had never heard his mother so angry before. She was usually just tired and sad. "We're here to make sure he's healthy."

The doctor seemed startled. He quickly recovered. "Of course," he coughed. "That's not why we're here. Human experimentation has long ended." The doctor picked up the PADD. He swiped the screen as he talked. "Your son is perfectly healthy in all the ways. In fact…" the doctor smiled and rotated the PADD screen. "He's 100% fertile as a male and a female." The doctor pointed at his screen. "As you can see, James here has a perfectly well formed uterus, fallopian tubes and a birth canal."

Jim looked at the small pear shape organ that the doctor was pointing at. He knew enough biology from school that boys did not have that. The doctor swiped again, and another image appeared. These were of parts Jim knew he was supposed to have. "His testicles have fully dropped and are producing viable sperm."

John coughed.

"I'm not a medical doctor, Doctor…"

"Williams," the old man flinched. "Of course." He swiped his PADD again. It was a merged imaged of the two previous images into one. "James here seems to be operating as a male and female hybrid. The human body is truly remarkable. His biometrics shows that he's developing into both a young man and a young woman. His body seems to have categorized and separated the production of differing hormones much like in slugs or earthworms."

"My son is not a slug or a earthworm." His mother did not sound pleased. He saw the heavy frown lines forming on her forehead.

Williams coughed. "Of course not, do you have any questions before I bring in Dr. Hansen?"

Jim squirmed. There was one question. It wasn't even a serious question. He knew enough biology. "Does that mean I can clone myself?" Jim blurted out.

Williams turned to look at him. He wondered if that was the first time he even noticed him. Williams immediately coughed and shook his head. "No, you possess natural barriers to prevent that."

"Damn." He wasn't that sorry. He didn't want kids. It was official. He was too abnormal and too different to possibly even consider passing his genes down to anyone.

"James, watch your language." His mother hissed.

They bought in Dr. Hansen afterwards. It turned out Dr. Hansen was a child psychologist specializing in gender. She was a little old lady with deep brown eyes. She was kinder than Williams had ever been. That was the first time any one discussed gender and the possibility of hormone therapy when he was older with him.

"You're a hermaphrodite, James." That was the first time he heard the 'h' word that would define his life. At 12, it meant nothing to him. "You don't have to be a boy, James," she said kindly.

Jim just blinked back. He was a boy. That was the only thing that his dad knew about him. The only thing his dad knew was that he had another son. His dad didn't even get to see him before he died. He had just heard his cries and his mother describing him as beautiful and perfect. Jim always scoffed at that.

They had named him James Tiberus Kirk over a comm link. Jim shook his head. He had no gender crisis. He was just a boy who would develop breasts and get a period every month. Somehow that was okay.

"You don't have to decide now. There is also surgery or other methods of concealment that could hide some of the… excess parts." She reached down for the bag that she had brought with her.

His mother immediately coughed. "That won't be necessary. Jim isn't ashamed of his body. He's healthy and a gift." The words were harsh and forced. Jim wondered who she was trying to convince, and if she even believed anything she just said. "Thank you for your time. We'll be leaving now." She grabbed his arm. Jim blinked before bolting upwards.

However he soon found out just what it meant to go through two types of opposing puberty. Maybe he should have listened or even considered the alternatives that the doctors could have recommended, but he wasn't anxious to go back there. His shoulders broadened. A noticeable Adam's apple started to form on his neck. His voice started to crack. He started growing whiskers and pubic hair. At the same time, his hips started to widen, and he started developing breasts. At 12, they were still tiny buds that were barely noticeable. Worst of all, every month he bled from an orifice that he wasn't supposed to have and a place he wasn't supposed to bleed from.

It made him flighty and vindictive. His mother went back to space. Sam didn't come home from Grandpa Tiberus'. It was just Jim and Frank. After the Chevy convertible incident, Frank no longer demanded much of Jim. Jim wondered if Frank even noticed he was still around sometimes. He saw the way Frank now looked at him. It was same way most people in Riverside looked at him… a little freak with too many body parts. Frank had never truly known until that day. He wondered if Frank would have married his mother had he known.

As a result Jim spent most of his days away from the farm house. By the end of the summer, Jim found himself associating with the rougher crowd in Riverside. They were the only ones that didn't care. They found it useful.

On his 13th birthday, he was arrested for the first time for vandalism and drug dealing. He had been earning black market credit chips by trafficking drugs and Romulan ale through Riverside Shipyard.

He knew Frank wouldn't bail him out when they told him the sum of the bail bond. Frank had always said that Jim wasn't worth the air he breathed or the credits Jim cost him. He spent three months in the juvenile petitionary. Big Joe, a big beefy teenage, found him amusing and took him under.

"I see myself in you, Kid." Big Joe had said the first day Jim showed up. Jim saw the muscles and the tattoos he was sporting. Jim wanted to laugh.

He taught Jim how to pick locks. He taught him how to hide contraband from the guards and use body language to him advantage. Jim was a natural. As a result, Jim smoked and drank his way through an assortment of alien drugs and moonshine. Big Joe laughed and called him his 'little protégée'.

Big Joe also taught him sexual skills involving his tongue and fingers. "It's all in the flick, Jimmy," Big Joe said through a mouthful of cock. That was the night Jim found Big Joe sucking off a guard in a dark hallway.

He would have stayed longer if his mother hadn't returned home for shore leave. That night he heard the screams and the angry voices echo throughout the farm house.

"He's uncontrollable."

"You left him in jail."

"That boy needs to learn his dues."

"He could have been assaulted."

"He was trafficking drugs."

It ended with his mother in tears and Frank storming out in rage. He thought that was the end of Frank. His brother could come home now, and his mother would stay dirt side. The next morning, he found his mother and Frank sitting at the kitchen table. They both had pursed lips. There was a pamphlet in front of them. Most importantly their fingers were interlocked. At that moment, all the hope drained from Jim's eyes.

"Tarsus IV." His mother pushed the pamphlet towards him.

The words were alien to him. "It's a colonization attempt by the Federation, Jimmy." His mother sounded so tired. The logistics were easy. He was going to stay with a foster family. They were scientists sent by Starfleet. They had a son a few years younger than him. "It would be an adventure," she said. "Hadn't he always wanted to see new worlds?"

For Jim, he saw it as a way to get away from Frank. It would be away from the hellhole that was Riverside. He thought everything would be better on Tarsus, Tarsus where nobody knew about his genetic abnormality.

He thought Tarsus would be a fucking second chance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

Jim was given a week to pack his belongings. It took him barely an hour. He never believed in keeping personal mementos, and there sure as hell wasn't anything of sentimental value for him in fucking Riverside.

Shipping out of Riverside also meant he didn't have to go back to school, and that was okay for Jim. He had been out of school for so long that he would probably have to repeat the year anyways. School had stopped meaning anything after Sam ran away, and he crashed his dad's Chevy convertible. School had always bored him. The classes involved counting livestock and plotting lunar planting cycles. He wasn't going to be a farmer or a rancher like most people in his class were going to be.

He spent his days in his room surfing on his PADD and reading old 16th century plays. He knew he was probably the only thirteen-year-old who read William Shakespeare in this era. The man's words seemed to transcend time. Some of the plays like Hamlet and A Midsummer Night's Dream he had read numerous times.

His holographic star ships twirled in the air above his head. He had all the latest models. They were holographic models of starships that Starfleet sent him every year on his birthday. It was one of the many forms of retribution from Starfleet.

He only left his rooms for meals. His mother insisted that they all sit at the dining room table together as a family. He wasn't sure why his mother was even trying anymore. His mother and Frank sat on one side of the table, and Jim sat on the other side. Sam's seat was empty. Nobody mentioned Sam anymore. He wondered if his mother even cared.

"Jim, eat your greens," she pushed a plate of overcooked, boiled replicated broccoli and cabbage in front of him.

Jim blinked.

"Eat your greens, Jim," she said again.

Any other time, Jim would have argued or remarked about why she even cared. However, this time it wasn't worth it. He was going to leave soon. He stabbed his fork into the overcooked vegetables. He over dramatized taking a large bite. When he was sure his mother was satisfied and turned her attention back to her own dinner, Jim slid the rest of the vegetables under a slice of bread. He was decidedly not going to eat the vegetables.

When the week ended, Jim was almost reluctant to leave. He had forgotten how different Frank could be when his mother was around. Frank was actually normal and fuck… friendly. He hadn't gone to the bar and gotten himself wasted. Fuck, Frank even offered to take him out for ice cream one night after dinner. He decidedly said 'no'. He wasn't sure who was more relieved: him or Frank.

However the morning of his departure, he woke up and found his mother in her Starfleet uniform and her bags by the door. He knew then. Nothing would change. She couldn't even fucking stay long enough to see him be shipped off.

"Sorry, Jimmy. Starfleet won't let me take anymore shore leave." She pulled him into a feeble hug that was awkward for them both. She ruffled his blond bangs. "You be good on Tarsus, Jimmy."

Jim nodded. It wasn't a promise or anything.

She left quickly after that, and Frank's happy mask immediately disappeared. Jim quickly locked himself in his room.

Jim sat on his bed. He looked around the empty room. The same room he had lived in for over thirteen years. It looked so unlived in. He had managed to fit his entire life into two duffle bags. The only things left were his bed, this desk and his chair. There wasn't much nostalgia left for him. It had long disappeared when Sam ran away, and his mother left them with Frank.

When his PADD flashed 1600, Jim picked up his two bags from the floor. He sighed. He had to go find Frank and convince him to take him to the shipyard. When he wandered into the living room, he almost laughed. His mother hadn't even been gone for six hours, and Frank was already 'entertaining'. Jim had always been curious where Frank found them.

He was currently being sandwiched between two Andorians. An Andorian male was currently mounting im from behind. An Andorian female was currently sucking him off from the front. Frank had buried his face into her blue skin. A second Andorian female was sprawled out on his mother upholstered couch. She was naked and blue. She was plucking purple grapes off its vines. They were contained in one of his mother's crystalline bowls. Any other day, he would have walked over and pulled the bowl away. He hated it when any of Frank's 'guests' touched any of his mother's possessions. They were dirty. It was dirty. He recognized it immediately as one of his parents' wedding presents from a distant great-aunt that he had never met. There were many relatives he never met. Sam had always said their father's death had broken their family.

It was the one on the couch who noticed him first. She winked at him. He wanted to puke. She draped one arm over the arm rest and threw her head back. Her blue antennas twitched excitedly. She brushed back her silver bangs from her eyes. "Frankie, there is a boy watching us," she said lazily. She popped another grape into her large sultry lips. She licked her fingers.

Frank looked up startled, his mouth in mid moan. He immediately closed it when he noticed Jim. He saw Frank flash his grey eyes at him. He pushed the female and male Andorians away. "That's just Jimmy. He's a she-man. Jimmy, show them." Frank barked out one of his crueler laughs.

"Exciting," the Andorian female who had been giving Frank a blow job exclaimed. She licked her lips. Jim could see Frank's cum leaking from her lips and between the large gaps in her teeth.

"Fuck off, Frank." Jim hissed. He was finally going to get as far away as possible from Frank. He regretted all those years of never telling his mother about Frank's unfaithfulness.

"He's fierce, Frankie. Why haven't you introduced us sooner?" The Andorian on the couch asked. She popped another grape into her mouth. "And pretty… especially the eyes. They are so blue."

"He's just a little freak." Frank laughed. "Git!" He picked up a beer bottle from the table. He threw it at him. Jim had learned long ago to not flinch. Frank had never been able to hit him when he was like this. Like always, the bottle bounced off the wall. It left a dark stain on the wall. He hoped his mother would come home and see it. Frank used to make him clean the beer stains off the walls after his escapades. He doubted Frank would bother to do it now. He was too lazy and disgusting.

Frank wasn't worth it. He had never been worth it. Jim tightened hold on his duffle bags and swung them over his shoulders. Frank was disgusting. He had always been disgusting. Jim turned on his heels and slammed the front door hard. He heard Frank scream 'freak' at him one last time.

He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath until the warm blast of late Iowan spring heat hit him squarely in his face. Standing there alone on the front porch of the farmhouse, Jim realized he didn't have to go to Tarsus. He was free. He was free from his mother. He was free from Frank. He could already hear Frank and the Andorians' moans echoing throughout the farm house.

His mother would soon be outside the subspace frequency range. Frank would never come looking for him. Sam had run away to his grandparents' farm, and his mother never brought him back. However he wasn't Sam, and most importantly he would still be in fucking Riverside. Jim repositioned his bags. He glanced back one more time at the farm house. There was nothing here for him. "Anywhere is better than fucking Riverside." Jim muttered. He clenched his duffle bags tighter.

It was a long walk to Riverside Shipyards. Even in the late afternoon, it was still bustling with workers. It had been a long time since Starfleet commissioned a large star ship. It was no secret that since the Kelvin incident, Starfleet had become more hesitant to launch new starships. However, there was still work in the form of small scale ships and shuttles.

It wasn't hard to find his shuttle. The outbound shuttles were all located in one section of the shipyard. There was only one shuttle going to Jupiter Station. He barely made it. He was the last one to board. They didn't even ask for his tickets or his paper work. It was probably better that way since his mother never gave them to him, and Frank had probably lost them or had used them as toilet paper.

He took a window seat in the back of the shuttle. He stuffed his bags under his seat. He barely had time to pull his harness over his shoulder blades before the shuttle took off. He probably should have been more excited as the shuttle reached its cruising attitude. He had never traveled far enough during any of his previous shuttle rides to break through the atmosphere.

However as they neared Jupiter Station, Jim did press his face against the glass panel. Jupiter Station was one of the Sol System's main outbound hubs. The other was San Francisco Fleet Yard that orbited Earth. However, San Francisco Yards also doubled as a star ship construction station. Once all the outer hull pieces were assembled together at Riverside Shipyard they were individually transported to San Francisco Fleet Yard and then bolted together. It created twice as many jobs.

Jupiter Station was larger and shinier. He had only seen pictures of it on his PADD and in holovids at school. The little shuttle looked so small and inconsequential among the long rows of Starfleet starships that were lined up in one section of the space station. They were all glorious silver ladies. He wondered if his dad's starship had been just as sparkly, or if the one that was taking his mother further and further away from him was just as jaw dropping. He loved their crisp, clean designs. He could admire them for hours.

He was the last to leave the shuttle. He shuffled out and stepped into the large station. Jupiter station was the galactic transportation hub between the Sol system and the rest of the universe. Its lower levels were off limits to civilians and served as a research and military base.

He whistled when he directed his gaze upwards. They had never mentioned in any of the books just how tall the ceilings were. There were portions of the ceiling that were transparent. He could even see the stars and asteroid belt in the far distance.

There was a wide variety of humans and aliens from all over the galaxy here. He could easily recognize the Andorians, Vulcans and Tellarities. Jim knew his Federation history. He could easily distinguish the founding members of the United Federation of Planets despite Riverside Iowa being one of Earth's more homogenous towns. Jim was used to a sea of white with a few foreigners who lived around Riverside shipyard. They rarely ventured out to the rest of the town and always seemed to be a different band of people. They were mysterious and interesting not liked the natives. Jim always figured if it were not for the shipyard; Riverside could still be lost in the 20th century.

His shuttle out to the Tarsus system wasn't until late, or was it early in the day? He figured he shouldn't be measuring dates or times by the Earth's relation to the sun. Soon, he would be far away from this solar system, and Tarsus would be orbiting a different sun or was it suns? It wasn't nostalgia. He had never been partial to this sun.

It seemed like everyone else had a place to go and things to see. Riverside had always been slow, slower than Jim would have liked. Jim had always been a boy of action. He didn't like lazy Sundays. Jim remembered when Granny Davis said, "Jimmy, you're definitely a Kirk. You've always been in a rush since the day you were born." She only said that once. They all knew the implications of that statement. Jim had been born almost four months early. Had he not been, his dad would have never even heard his first cries. Jim wondered if his mother would have named him Tiberus after all.

A knobby finger tugged at his shirt sleeve. Jim whipped around. It belong a short alien. He looked more like a toad than a humanoid. There was a horrible, swampy stench surrounding him.

"Are you lost, little one?" The alien asked. He grinned at him. "Would you like a… guide?" He licked his lips. Jim pulled free from the alien. He shook his head.

"You're a pretty little…" The alien sniffed him. "Girl. Accidents could happen."

"I ain't a girl."

"I'm never wrong, little girl."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Well, you are now."

The alien sniffed him again. He smiled revealing a row of golden yellow teeth. "Peculiar, very peculiar."

"So, I've heard." Jim muttered and turned away. He heard the alien laugh at him as he walked away. _Fucking weird._

He eventually found himself in a shopping strip. His stomach grumbled as he wandered through the rows of Deltan jewelry. His mother's wedding ring had been of Deltan made. He had seen it once a long time ago before Frank, before he grew up and realized his mere presence caused her pain. It was simple and elegant unlike the gaudy ring Frank had given her. That had been the one and only gift Frank had ever given his mother.

He stayed until the store owner started giving him uneasy looks. Jim didn't blame him. He didn't know Jim had enough credits under his name to buy out the entire store. One of the perks of being the son of a decreased Starfleet officer was the annual credits Starfleet deposited under his name as reparation. Jim and any future children he would have would receive these payments for life. It was Starfleet's belief that a death in the family would impact at least two generations. Jim always suspected Frank never knew that Jim had access to the credits. They weren't 'moveable' funds until his eighteen's birthday, but Jim wasn't a genius for nothing.

He ate dinner at a small oriental noodle booth. A green alien with horns served him. He had never seen this type of alien before. The noodles were cool and sweet. They tasted different from anything he had ever eaten before. He tried paying in Federation credits. The alien just laughed. "Keep your credits, Kid. Starfleet doesn't use money."

Jim blinked. He had heard rumors that Starfleet was like a community of its own. Starfleet officers and personnel believed that work was solely for personal growth, and that was enough of compensation. The day anyone enlisted in Starfleet; Starfleet in turn would take care of that enlisted crew member. Everything a member of Starfleet 'owned' was Starfleet issued.

He left the booth quickly after that and found a seat near a vacuum proof window. The glow illuminated from the star ships on the other side of the window felt warm and tender. For a while he observed the civilians and officers that passed by. He tried guessing from their appearance and state of mind where they were going and where they came from. There was no way he could confirm any of his guesses, but it was still fun. When he got tired, he pulled out his PADD and started reading the tales of Horatio Hornblower. He loved the old naval stories of Horatio and his crew.

The ship out to Tarsus ended up being delayed. Jim was yawning and could barely keep his eyes open when he finally boarded the USS Republic. It was long past midnight in Iowa. He could barely remember being welcomed by the captain. He just remembered the captain had a large smile and twinkling chocolate brown eyes. The USS Republic was a smaller ship with only a crew of three hundred. It was an older design left over from the early days before the foundation of the United Federation of Planets.

He was given quarters in one of the lower decks of the ship. There were already three other people fast asleep in the room. He remembered the lieutenant that showed him the room saying that they were engineering ensigns. She was apologetic about it. Normally civilians received their own rooms, but they hadn't expected so many late arrivals to Tarsus. As she left, she mentioned that she hoped the low hum from the ship's wrap core wouldn't keep him awake. It usually took a long time to get used to. She laughed that she wasn't sure she was even used to it, and she had been serving for almost five years now.

He set his bags down near his bed and pulled off his sneakers. He stayed awake long enough to see the ship disengage from the station and jump to warp speed. He fell asleep to the lull of the ship's wrap core. He never felt more alive, nor had he ever slept so well before.

**Author's Notes: **From my limited knowledge of Star Trek, I'm pretty sure star ships aren't supposed to be built in Earth despite what the 2009 movie showed. I'm just going to pretend that in the end the Enterprise was actually built in space, and what Jim saw was just the outer hull or something not actually assembled.

I haven't seen every episode of Star Trek ever made so my familiarity with alien races is still very limited. Please pardon the nondescript and not canon alien races.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

Jim found the time he spent on the USS Republic to be fleeting. He enjoyed every minute of it despite being unable to see most of the ship. Most of the decks required some level of security clearance which he didn't have. It also didn't help that he stood out very blatantly among the sea of Starfleet issued uniforms that the crew members wore, so he couldn't exactly sneak into one of more highly secured areas of the ship. He was particularly annoyed that he couldn't go into the bridge though.

The first morning on board the ship, he had been planning on sleeping in late. Frank never let him. Frank used to barrage into his room with a breath laced with ethanol and nicotine and a body which reeked of sex at the crack of dawn to force him and Sam to do their chores before school started. He had tried once to lock his bedroom door, but Frank had torn the door off the hinge and done almost equal damage to his arms. Sam had pulled Frank off in time.

It was a long time later before Frank let him fix the door. It was mostly because his mother was returning home.

Sam had called him a dummy and refused to talk to him for a week afterwards. Jim used to wonder if Sam thought that was the best punishment… silence. Jim wasn't stupid. He never made the same mistake twice.

Jim and Sam practically ran the Kirk farm before Sam ran away, and he crashed his dad's car. He hadn't even bothered to take one last look at the farm before he left. He wondered if Frank would run it to the ground now. Frank wasn't a farmer. That had obvious after the first harvest season. Jim sometimes contemplated how Frank and his mother happened. They were like two different people as dissimilar as night and day.

However, at 0600 the ensigns whose room he was sharing noisy woke up. They were all loud and rowdy. They were bragging to each other about who had the most important duty rooster for the day. It was obvious from their conversations that this was their first assignment, and they were all fresh out of the academy.

They didn't even seem particularly apologetic when they realized they had awakened him. He watched them bustle around the room throwing their sleeping garments on the floor before replacing them with their uniforms.

He had waited until after they all left the room before getting out bed. The sonic showers were strange and different. They lacked the smoothing feel of water. He had always been used to taking a shower which consisted of water. Riverside had never been low on water. It was one of the rainier parts of the world however he knew enough that water on starship was rare.

It had taken him awhile to find the mess hall. He vaguely remembered the lieutenant mentioning which deck it had been when they had taken the turbo lift the night before.

By the time he found the mess hall; it was mostly empty. There were only a few crew members huddled in the corner drinking what he surmised was coffee or hot tea. Most were reading their PADDs.

He was surprised that the mess hall contained not only food synthesizers which lined along the wall space but also an honest to goodness cook who made certain dishes to order. There was a large interactive board with the menu that flashed above the cooking station. There was a wide array of breakfast dishes. There were simple dishes like cereal and toast all the way to the more complicated dishes like omelets and breakfast burritos.

He had eaten his share of synthesized meals in Iowa. Frank and his mother never cooked. The choice was simple. He stepped forward. The cook, he was a jolly elder man. Jim could see streaks of white already appearing around his side burns. He had the bushiest eye brows that Jim had ever seen. The cook's eyes widened when he saw him. "What can Chef Roberto make for you, Child?" The man boomed out.

"Just cereal and bacon," Jim replied.

Chef Roberto shook his head sadly. He pulled out a pack of bacon from his ice cabinet. Each stripe looked so tender and red. "You haven't lived until you tried my scones or omelets. There are crew members on this ship who keep signing on for more trips just to taste my cooking, Child."

Jim laughed and agreed. "Okay."

It turned out Cook Roberto wasn't bragging. When Roberto handed him his tray of food, it really did look delicious. It tasted even better. He had never tasted such light fluffy scones or deliciously rich omelets before. Roberto had come over before he finished eating. He pulled out the chair across from him. He was grinning from eye to eye.

"How was it?" He asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

Jim gave the man a large thumb up. "It was really good," Jim gushed out.

Roberto laughed and patted him hard on the shoulder. His hand was warm and nearly twice the size of his shoulder. Roberto frowned. "You're just skin and bones, Child. Where are your parents? I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." Roberto chided. "You're too skinny, Child. A growing child needs some extra fat. It gives them a healthier tone." Roberto laughed and patted his own belly. He really did remind Jim of Santa Claus.

Jim's face reddened. In Riverside, everyone knew, and never asked. His mother had shielded him from the media when the paparazzi had first shown up on the farm to do their annual interviews on the Kelvin. However, a constantly depressed Federation hero's widow didn't make for a good story. They eventually stopped trying and just started to make up their own stories to over glorify his father's legacy. He remembered being particularly upset by an article about some woman who was bragging about raising 'George Kirk's love child'. Sam had called him a dummy when Jim showed it to him.

"They aren't here," he muttered under his breath.

He saw Roberto's face turn almost scandalous at his reply. He didn't make any further remarks about it. Instead Roberto told Jim some stories about the funniest moments about life on a starship. He had a long luxurious career as a cook, but he couldn't see himself retiring anytime soon. It wasn't until later that Jim noticed that his portions were larger than most of the crew members.

Besides listening to Roberto's stories, he always came over to talk when he wasn't busy making food, Jim spent the remaining time either in the front observation room reading one of his PADDs or exercising in the recreation halls. There was a large assortment of equipment from many different species. Jim only recognized the human and Vulcan gear.

However every time he was reading; a plate of treats courtesy of Chef Roberto would mysteriously appear at some point while he was engrossed in his book. There were simpler desserts like cookies to more intricate desserts like cakes or parfait.

It caused off-duty officers to constantly wander by. He would always offer them some of his treats. Sometimes they accepted and would sit down on the couch across from him. They would ask if he was a passenger in route to Tarsus, and he would nod. Sometimes that was all they would say and then leave soon afterwards. Other times they would tell him about their job on the Republic. He met doctors, engineers, yeomen, security officers, weapon's control operators, science officers and linguistics. The linguistics loved to talk, and some even offered to teach him some rudimentary Vulcan.

If they stayed long enough, they would notice the PADD in his hands and ask what he was reading. He watched their eyes widen when he told them it was Moby Dick. This was the third time he was reading the timeless novel. He noticed that most of the crew members shared that same reaction when he told them.

One lieutenant had laughed when he told him. "The old language is way over my head. I can understand engineering manuals but give me old school literature it's as foreign to me as Klingon is."

"It's poetic." He tried to explain the captain's obsession with finding the whale. Jim loved reading about whales. They were always described as being majestic beings of the sea. It was a shame they had become extinct a long time ago.

The lieutenant laughed and patted his knee. They shared a glass of Viridian apple juice before he left for duty.

It was late in the afternoon when the USS Republic finally entered Tarsus' orbit. Jim was alone on the forward observation deck when Tarsus came into view. He was curled up in one of couches reading a novel from his PADD. He had a nice, large assortment of pastries and juices spread out on the table before him.

The captain made a ship wide announcement that they had entered orbit. Jim pressed his face against the transparent aluminum window. He was not impressed by what he was greeted by. Tarsus was a yellow planet. It seemed to be not even a quarter the size of Earth. The USS Republic seemed to tower over it.

He didn't realize just how yellow Tarsus was until the shuttle touched down on the ground. They didn't allow the civilians to use the transporters. Jim guessed it was because they didn't want to store their imprints in the computer systems.

Tarsus was land of endless sand and nothingness. He should have known considering the universe seemed to love shitting on him. He wondered if it was Frank who had shown his mother the pamphlet. _Fuck._ Frank was probably laughing now about sending Jim to a fucking desert wasteland. There was sand in every direction. Jim couldn't see anything but a sea of yellow. It wasn't that he was expecting rolling, green fields and blue oceans. It was just that he wasn't used to an endless expanse of sand.

There were tiny adobe huts in the distance. He guessed that was where he was going to be living in. An official ushered him into a makeshift tent. There was already long never ending lines of colonists inside. Most looked hot and equally miserable. The air was stuffy inside the tent. It felt like recycled air. There was barely a breeze. He wondered if they knew what they had agreed to. He wondered if any of them had been sent here by a mother who was just too sad or too tired to deal with her child's problems.

Most of the colonists were composed of family units. There were mothers, fathers, children, aunts, uncles and grandparents. It was everything he didn't have. Some of the younglings noticed him. He watched as they pulled at their parents' pants legs. He watched their doting parents bend down. He watched their eyes travel towards him. He shifted his bags and looked away. He tried to blend in with the family in front of him.

He shifted on the balls of his heels. The little boy in front of him looked back at him. He looked to be six-years-old. He remembered being six. Life was simpler back then. The little boy waved at him. "Hi." The boy smiled.

Jim waved back. There was no point in making enemies already. He would probably make many soon anyways. He was good at attracting enemies. "Hi."

Before either one could say anything else, the boy's mother tugged on the boy's arm. She was pretty and young. He remembered when his own mother had looked so young. She had aged fast. The boy tried to pull away but to no avail. The family disappeared into the sea of other families. Jim wondered if he would ever see him again. He moved to a small corner of the tent. There were less people there. He set his bags down on the ground before sitting down in the sand. It was something he was going to have to use to coarse sand. It seemed some things were always constants. He pulled out a PADD to pass the time.

As the hours past, old, decrepit robots rolled past. Most were carrying trays containing finger foods and biodegradable cups containing water. They looked to be the hundred-year-old models like most things here. It matched everything else. Tarsus IV was a fucking hell hole. Jim was amazed that Starfleet had even managed to collect eight thousands colonists to leave wherever the fuck they had come from to settle here. Jim couldn't manage the amount of credit chips that must have been exchanged. Why would anyone bother settling in such a backwater colony? Most importantly how much had Frank made in sending him here?

It was almost night fall when he was finally processed. The personnel at the table looked bored and tired. There was one of those decrepit robots next to him. Its whole 'body' section appeared to be a computer console. Jim had heard about these types of models before. They had been popular in the distant past when humans wanted their computers with them at all times and before the advancements of PADDs that made everything compact and powerful: instant computing at one's finger tips.

The official grabbed his arm a little too roughly. The employee was stabbing him in the arm with a syringe to extract a blood sample before he could even protest. "Fuck," he hissed as he pulled his arm back. "Can't you warn a person?" _Hell, was it even normal to take blood samples of colonists?_

The officer decidedly did not answer. He instead placed the vial in a small machine that was on the table. The machine beeped. The officer blinked at whatever he saw appear on the screen. _Fuck. They didn't fucking just run his genetic code did they? _His genes were fucking hybrid of male and female genes.

Just as Jim was about to comment, the officer slid a PADD thru the machine. It must have downloaded the information into the PADD, which he then handed to him.

Before Jim could even look at it, he was already being waved through. As he was leaving, he saw the officer write something on his PADD. They didn't even bother to ask for his name. He left through the back of the tent. The tent was almost empty by then.

He sat down on a makeshift pile of logs. The first entry in his PADD detailed his living arrangements. He let out a loud whistle. His mother hadn't been joking when she told him that he would be staying with Starfleet officers. One was a botanist, and the other was a social scientist.

There was a map with the location of his foster family's assigned house.

Jim sighed. He threw his bags over his shoulders and made the long walk down the rows of near identical adobe houses. On closer inspection, he noticed that many of the houses had small pots of flowers and bushes on the window ledges and along the pathways to the front door. It seemed to be almost the only source of color in this endlessly yellow land.

The adobe house, which was assigned to his foster family, was located at the intersection of many dirt pavements. The roads all traveled far into the distance. Jim wondered where they all went. He sighed before knocking.

He heard footsteps coming from the inside. The door opened revealing a young, brunette woman. She was dressed in a light spring dress with an apron tied around her waist. There was flour stains on it. She seemed to have been baking.

"You must be the child assigned to us." Jim saw the confusion in her eyes. He obviously wasn't what she had been expecting. He wondered what his mother had said when she 'volunteered' him for Tarsus.

Jim nodded. He handed her the PADD. She looked at it. The frown lines above her eyes became thicker. "Thomas," she shouted.

He heard a large curse followed by something shattering. It sounded heavy. They both cringed. Moment later a young man appeared. The couple seemed to be roughly the same age. She handed him the PADD. "We were expecting a boy," he stated simply before thrusting the PADD back into Jim's hands.

Jim blinked and looked down.

There was a fuzzy picture of an infant on the PADD. He was almost positive it wasn't even him. Besides that, the information was mostly empty minus his hair color, eye color and gender. The word 'female' was circled for gender.

_Fucking hell! _It reeked of Frank's doing. Frank probably had been planning on sending him away for a long time. He should have questioned how everything had come together so easily. He wondered if Sam would have come with him had he not run away. Frank probably would have come up with a way to send them both here even if he hadn't crashed the car and gotten arrested. He just never saw Frank as a hacker. He didn't seem bright enough. He probably paid something to do it for him.

He knew he should march back to the processing center and get it corrected. However, gender in this era was just a word more than anything else. There were many different alien species that didn't fit into the human gender differentiation.

Frank was probably laughing now. Maybe he could just fucking choke to death.

However Jim had always been resourceful, Tarsus was a new beginning. Thanks to fucking Frank, nobody here knew anything about him. Hell, his fucking file was blank. Thanks to his mother, the media never knew what he even looked like.

He could start new here, and it wasn't like he was planning on staying long. Tarsus was starting to feel more and more like Riverside. _Fuck it!_ Tarsus was a hellhole. There was no way he was going to stay here. He was definitely to hitch a ride on any cruiser that would pass by in the future. Besides, he really didn't want to explain why he was bleeding from places he shouldn't be.

"Sorry." The woman said. She glared at her husband before turning around and smiling at him. "What's your name child?" She asked kindly.

"Jane…" The name slipped from his lips. He had seen it tattooed on Big Joe's arm back at that the penitentiary. "Jane Davis."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Sorry, for the delayed post. I'll hopefully get another chapter out before the end of the week.

**Chapter 5**

"I'm Joan Riley, and this is my husband Thomas." She introduced them both before pulling him inside. Thomas took his bags. He shuffled in behind them. He found their home… charming and lived in unlike his own. He knew they hadn't lived here for long. Tarsus IV was a new settlement. They couldn't have arrived more than a week or two before him. However there home more lived in, more loved than his mother or Frank had ever made the Kirk farm in Riverside.

It became obvious fairly soon why Thomas had been decried his stated gender. Joan, not Mrs. Riley, she didn't want to be called Mrs. Riley, she laughed and said it made her old, lead him into the kitchen. She poured him a tall glass of home squeezed lemonade. "It's not really lemonade like on Earth. It's actually genetically different. It's closer to an orange than a lemon," she said as she handed him the glass.

Jim took it willingly. He hadn't realized just how thirsty he was until that moment. It was sweeter and tangier than the lemonade he was used to.

She sat down across from him. She smiled warmly at him while resting a hand under her chin. "Tom, didn't mean it." Like Joan, Tom didn't want to be called Mr. Riley or Thomas. Jim guessed it was so everything would be less formal. They were… fuck… they were his care takers now. His mother had literally given him up besides whatever the fuck Frank had told her to convince her to send him here. It probably didn't take much convincing anyways. She never did raise him. She also never told him how long he supposed to stay on Tarsus. Was he supposed to stay until he was eighteen and was legally an adult and could make his own choices? Was she going to come get him someday? Fuck was she even going to come see him during her next shore leave? "It's just…"

There was a squawk behind him. Jim turned around. Tom was leading a little boy towards them. He saw Joan smile and hold her arms out. It was something he had seen parents at the park in Riverside do. His mother had never done that before. She never gave hugs willing. The little boy ran over to her. She smiled and pulled him into her lap. She placed her chin into his lush, brown hair.

The little boy turned towards him. He had the deepest shade of chocolate brown eyes that Jim had ever seen. "Hi," the boy said shyly. He pushed himself closer into his mother's blossom. "I'm Kevin."

"Hi," Jim flashed Kevin one of brighter, more genuine smiles. I'm Ji…Jane," he said. He mentally cursed himself for almost giving away fake identity. He suddenly wondered if he should have lied about his name or why he didn't correct Frank's horrible 'joke'. It seemed none of the Riley's noticed.

"I'm six-years-old," Kevin parroted out.

Jim smiled. He remembered being six. Life was much simpler back then. Before Frank, before everything else which made him jaded and realize the harsh realities of life.

"Do you want to play a game?"

"Kevin," Joan smoothed out his hair. "It's bed time."

"Aww," Kevin whined.

"Kevin," she said again.

"Alright," Kevin sighed before slipping off of Joan's lap. Joan smiled and gently kissed his cheek. Tom ruffled his hair before he scampered off. Just before he left the room, he turned around and waved to Jim. "We play tomorrow?"

Jim smiled and nodded.

"Yay! 'Night." He disappeared around the corner after that.

Tom had poured his own glass of lemonade by then and taken a seat next to Joan. "You were supposed to share a room with Kevin."

Jim blinked. In that moment he realized. His 'gender' had inconvenienced them. They had been planning on him and Kevin sharing a room. It made sense. As he looked around the tiny eating area, Jim realized just how small the adobe house really was. It was probably just a two bedroom hut. He wondered why they had agreed to take him in to begin with. "It's okay. We can still share."

"That…" Joan started.

Jim waved his hand. "It's okay. Really," Jim smiled and as he rolled his fingers over the glass. Tiny beads of liquid had begun to form over the glass. It was 'sweating' as Sam used to say.

"We did bring that partition from Earth." Tom started.

"My Vulcan painting?" Joan asked. Her eyes widened.

"Is that what it is?" Tom teased.

Joking… they were joking. Jim had never heard grownups jest before. His mother was never happy or around enough. Frank was well… Frank. Joan pushed Tom away as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. Jim looked down. He rolled the glass between his palms. It was awkward. It was strange. _Was this what a family was supposed to be like?_ Tom patted his hand at that moment. Jim looked up.

"Come on. I put your things in the study for now. We can set up the partition tomorrow." Tom stated. Jim nodded. He set the glass down and nodded at Joan.

She smiled and waved at him.

It was a small room. There was a small console in the corner of the room. It was sitting on a rickety wooden table. There was a stack of PADDs next to it. In the opposite corner, there was a small pull out couch that doubled currently as a cot. Tom had already placed his possessions next to it. The cot was covered with a floral bed sheet. There was single pillow that looked hard and a thin blanket.

"There's only one bathroom. We eat breakfast at 0600." Tom stated. He seemed uneasy. Jim wondered if he was used to females beside his wife. _Fuck_. He wasn't even a girl.

Jim nodded. Tom soon disappeared. He waited a while before reaching for his duffle bags. He drew out his PADD. He always read before bed. He felt that if he filled his brain with stories about faraway places and other people's lives, his dreams would be happy. It was a way to trick his brain from giving him nightmares. He had been using the trick for years since he read about how dreams and the brain worked. He wondered if that was why parents read to their children before bed time.

He was so deeply engrossed in his PADD that he didn't hear the door open. He looked up startled when he felt a hand on his arm. He found Kevin's chocolate brown eyes staring up at him. "Mommy, told me to tell you the bathroom is free now," Kevin stated. Jim detected a slight lisp in the boy's words. Kevin would probably grow out of it.

"Thanks." He said nervously. He wasn't used to talking to other boys who didn't want to either beat him up or use him in some way. Sam and Big Joe had been the exceptions. He still didn't understand Big Joe while Sam was his brother.

"Whatcha reading?"

"Treasure Planet." Jim stated.

"Is it for school?"

Jim laughed. "No, it's for fun."

"Fun? Reading isn't fun." Kevin stuck out his tongue.

"'Course it is."

Kevin crossed his arms. "Prove it."

Jim laughed. That wouldn't be difficult. He could already come up with a long list of stories that could easily prove his point. However before he could answer, Joan walked in. She seemed displeased.

"Kevin, it's bed time," she stated. Her voice was firm but lacked the menace that was always in Frank's voice or the lethargic tone of voice from his mother.

Kevin looked up at her. "Aww, Ma, but Jane was going was going to tell me a story."

"Tomorrow Kevin," she drew him close to her blossom.

Kevin pouted but agreed. Joan lightly squeezed his shoulder and whispered a 'good night' to him. He nodded. It was confusing how many times the Riley's said good night to him. The most he got growing up was from Sam who used to punch him in the arm and sarcastically telling him 'good night dummy'.

Breakfast the next morning was simple. It consisted of eggs from the communal chickens, milk from the communal cows and toast from the communal bakery. Jim could the pattern. Everything on Tarsus was communal.

"It's a new colonization. Tarsus could become the framework for the future of the Federation. Every family is assigned a certain task, and all the goods are stored in a common location," Joan explained to him at breakfast. Kevin just nodded along as if he knew what his mother was talking about.

"Joan's a biologist, so we're part of the farming group," Tom added.

"I'm going to grow the biggest pumpkin," Kevin added. Joan smiled and gently ruffled Kevin's brown bangs. "I'm going to win the pumpkin contest at the fall fair."

Tom laughed.

"I'm going to be a biologist when I grow up like Mama."

"Okay Kevin, it's time for school."

"Aww," Kevin whined. He slipped from his chair. He picked up his empty plate and placed it into the kitchen sink.

"Take Jane with you." Tom called. Jim looked up. He hadn't been in school for so long. Not since before Sam ran away, and he crashed his dad's car. He almost opened his mouth to protest. However when Joan smiled at him, he nodded. After he placed his own plate in the sink, he found Kevin at the door lacing up his shoelaces. When he saw Jim, he smiled. He stuck out his hand. Jim guessed Kevin wanted him to take it. Jim toed on his own shoes before taking it. Kevin shouted a 'good-bye' before pulling open the door. They were both greeted with a blast of warm air. It wasn't even summer yet, and it was already hot. Jim wondered just how unbearably hot the summer would be. The Tarsus sun was a great ball of fire in the sky.

"School's on the other side of the settlement," Kevin explained. He skipped along beside Jim. However since Jim didn't know where he was going, he was forced to slow down to let Kevin catch up. Now that it was brighter, he noticed that he had been wrong the night before. All of the adobe houses were identical. There were subtle differences to all the houses. Simple things like window placement and extra rooms.

The school house turned out to be a small one story building next to what he guessed was the government building. He only knew since the building was reminiscent of the old Roman buildings. It was a common theme on Earth. There was large school bell at top. He wondered if it really rang or if it simply for aesthetics. He guessed there weren't many children on Tarsus. It made sense. He couldn't guess how many parents could possibly agree to up root their family for a place like Tarsus.

Kevin tugged on his arm. "Come on, I'll introduce to our teacher. She's really nice."

The teacher ended up being up an old greying woman. She was of Asian descent. Even at the distance, Jim could tell she was once a woman of great importance. She seemed like she had lived a life of excitement and had finally settled down to a quiet life. Jim wondered why she had agreed to teach children.

"Mrs. Kimura," Kevin bolted forward.

"Hello, Kevin," she smiled. Jim recognized the smile immediately. Teachers always smiled to their students like that.

"This is Jane," Kevin quipped. He seemed proud of himself.

Mrs. Kimura looked at him. She bit her lip as if confused before extending her hand.

"Hello, Jane."

Jim took her hand. He was surprised how strong her grip was.

It turned out Mrs. Kimura taught all the students on Tarsus. The inside of the school was just as archaic as the outside. It seemed like it was replicated out from a 19th century history book depiction of a school house. The only difference was that instead of a blackboard in the center of the room there was large outdated holo-screen.

The students were all seated by age groups. The youngest children sat in the front while the older children sat in the back. Kevin sat almost in the front row. He was one of the youngest. There were only a handful of students younger than or just as old as he was. Jim sat closer to the back. It seemed like he was one of the oldest. He sat next to a boy who introduced himself as Thomas Leighton**.** He seemed nervous. Jim watched how he would worry his lip as he took notes in his PADD and would constantly tap his right foot. Jim was tempted to reach over and make him stop. However, he didn't only because he kept him awake. The lectures were long and boring. He forgot how much school had bored him. By the second hour, he had opened up a book on his PADD. He wasn't paying attention when his name was called. He only knew because Thomas had kicked his chair.

"Jane," he hissed.

Jim bolted upwards. Maybe Thomas wasn't that bad.

He wasn't used to the name Jane, or he would have realized he had been called. He heard a soft chuckle transcend the room. "Please answer the question Jane," Mrs. Kimura sighed. It seemed like she had been trying to get his attention for a while.

Jim looked at the holo-screen. It was an easy math question. He had always been good at math. He answered quickly. She smiled and nodded. He wondered if she thought he actually was paying attention.

However there was one lecture that did catch his attention… xenolinguistics. Riverside education was never strong in xenolinguistics. The most he had learned was rudimentary Vulcan. After ten minutes, Jim could tell just how much Mrs. Kimura loved xenolinguistics. Unlike when she was lecturing on math or physics where she talked in a dull, luring monotone voice, there was inflection and excitement as she explained just how important xenolinguistics was. It became fairly obvious that most of the students in the room also had very little exposure to xenolinguistics. By the end of the lecture, he knew more Vulcan than he had in all preceding years of his education.

Lunch was eaten outside in the sand. They were all issued brown biodegradable lunch bags with near identical portions of food. Jim guessed this was part of the communal lifestyle. Thomas invited him to eat lunch with him. He wondered if he should be eating with Kevin, but it seemed Kevin had his own friends. He agreed. They sat with two other boys and two girls of similar age. "We older kids should stick together," Thomas explained.

Jim nodded. The others smiled at him. The girls seemed happy. "It's good to have another girl in our group." She introduced herself as Jennifer Tompkins. She was a pretty black girl with long tresses that cascaded down the side of her face. She nudged the girl next to her. She was an Asian girl with large brown eyes.

"Aiko Kimura," she said. Jim blinked. She laughed. "Yeah, Mrs. Kimura is my great grandmother."

The two boys gave their names next: Eli Molson and Jack… Just Jack. Jennifer and Aiko both groaned. "What, it's not short for Jackson." Jack grumbled.

And that was that. Somehow this became Jim's life. Every day he went to school with Kevin. Every day he ate lunch with Thomas, Jennifer, Aiko, Eli and Jack, and every day after school he worked in the fields with the Riley's. Kevin eventually showed him his prized pumpkin. Jim wondered how Kevin wouldn't win the pumpkin contest. He had never seen a pumpkin that large before.

He had been on Tarsus for nearly a month with Mrs. Kimura asked him to stay after school. Kevin waved at him from the door way before scampering off. They always walked to the fields together. Jim wondered if she was going to reprimand him for his lack of attention during all of his classes minus xenolinguistics. He wondered why it had taken her that long.

She led him to the back room. He wondered how he hadn't noticed it before. He had always assumed it was a broom closet. It turned out to be an ordinary office. He noticed there was a PADD on her desk with pictures that changed.

She told him to take a seat across from the desk. She sat on the other side. He wondered if this is what a teacher/student conference from the past felt like. "I know my classes aren't the most interesting," she started.

Jim grimaced.

"You're obviously very bright," she continued. "One of the brightest students I have ever had."

Jim blinked. He hadn't expected such high praise from anymore. His past teachers had just let him be. He had always scored well on all his tests. Most of the time, he scored the highest in his class. It wasn't difficult. It kept them content. They never wanted to make trouble, not for the dead hero of the Federation. Here on Tarsus, finally he wasn't the son of a dead hero who he had never met.

"You're so much like some of the people I served with in my youth." Mrs. Kimura continued.

Jim blinked. She picked up her PADD. When she turned the PADD around, Jim's eyes widened. Everyone knew about Jonathan Archer's legendary mission aboard the NX-01 Enterprise. In the picture was a picture of the Archer's ship. It seemed to be a publicity picture probably before their maiden voyage. The bridge crew looked stiff unlike in later pictures when they became more at ease with one another. He recognized the Vulcan first officer, T'Pol.

"You're Hoshi Sato. You helped invent the modern universal translator."

She smiled. "Ah yes, the glory days of my youth, yes I am… I was. Now I'm just a lowly school teacher on Tarsus IV with a student who is clearly bored of my teachings."

_Well fuck_.

She laughed. It was startling to watch her laugh now. Jim wasn't sure how he hadn't recognized her. The more he looked at the picture of young Hoshi Sato and the woman she had become; he could clearly see that feisty woman from her youth. She really was the woman who had helped Jonathan Archer during his legendary mission.

"I can see greatness in you, Jane. I've worked with some of the brightest in the galaxy. My little school house just isn't enough for you. You need challenge. Our governor… Kodos… he's a generous man. He's all for helping children grow. He came to me asking for an aide. He wants to groom a child to take over running our colony someday."

Jim blinked.

"I see greatness in you. More greatness than Archer… and well… his history speaks for itself." She laughed. "I want to recommend you for this post."

"I…"

"There is very little I can teach you besides xenolinguistics. It's my only lecture you pay attention too." She tapped her bony fingers on her desk. "What do you say? Governor Kodos could teach you many things. You obviously know your math, science, literature and history."

Jim rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. It did sound more interesting than sitting in class. However… there were his … fuck… his friends. If he agreed, would he see than again? She seemed to notice his hesitation.

"It will initially only be for a few hours every week until you are older and if you really want to pursue this path."

"Okay." Jim nodded. _Why not?_ It wasn't like he was signing his life away.

Only as he leaving the school house, did he stop and wonder. When did he stop wanting to leave Tarsus? When did Tarsus start feeling like… home?

**Author's Note: **I guess this is the calm before the storm chapter. I really do feel bad for what happens to most of these characters...

I'm also not sure if Kevin Riley's parents were part of Starfleet, or what they did. Canon seemed to imply Jim and Kevin knew each other on Tarsus.

Various Star Trek Encyclopedia sites claimed that Hoshi Sato was on Tarsus IV with her family, so I decided why not let her and Jim meet. Jim clearly knows something about xenolinguistics when he first meets Uhura in the bar. Who could be a better teacher right? It also claims that Sato married later in life.

However since I haven't watched very much of Enterprise, and by not much I mean 2 normal episodes and the mirror universe episodes, I don't know much about Hoshi Sato's characterization. I plan on watching more Enterprise before Archer shows up though.

As for Jim's apprenticeship with Kodos... well... we'll see where that goes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Jim would never forget the first time he met Governor Kodos. There were some things in life that just leaves a deep imprint, and this was one of them even discounting the things to come. Things at that point in time, nobody could have imagined.

Kodos accepted Mrs. Kimura's recommendation. She asked him to stay after class a week later. She handed him a PADD with a generic congratulatory letter followed by a statement that he would be contacted soon, which ended up being a whole month later. Naturally, his friends found out about it. News traveled fast in a small town. However, Jim didn't doubt that Mrs. Kimura didn't mention it at home, and Aiko just overheard. They teased him relentlessly at first.

"You better not forget about us Jane." Thomas had said.

"I heard they get better food," Jack added. Jack wasn't a fan of communal food. "It's like a cafeteria without choices." Everyone ate the same food every day, and there was only so many ways to cook potatoes or broccoli.

Eli punched Jack in the arm. "That's stupid." Eli's mother worked in the government building. She was a receptionist. Eli was infatuated by politics and its intricacies. Jim could tell that Eli was still annoyed that Mrs. Kimura hadn't chosen him for the apprenticeship.

Jennifer, always the diplomatic, simply stated "Mrs. Kimura didn't even choose Aiko. It's not like Jane actively lobbied, and you can't deny she isn't smart."

"Seriously, she never pays attention in class and always gets the best scores," Thomas added. They still sat next to each other in class. Thomas would always kick Jim's chair if Mrs. Kimura called on him, which had gotten rarer and rarer over time. Jim always knew the answers despite never paying attention. He only paid attention during xenolinguisitics, and even in that subject he was better than anyone else in the class.

That stopped Eli from grumbling further. He couldn't deny that Jim wasn't brilliant and didn't deserve it.

The invitation was sent through the PADD that contained the initial introduction and congratulatory letters. It came in the morning as he was getting ready for school. By then he had been sharing a room with Kevin for nearly two months. He hadn't realized just how much of a hindrance sharing a room was. The partition helped; however, Kevin had the uncanny ability to suddenly appear on his side of the partition. To prevent awkward questions, he started sleeping with his clothes on and changing in the bathroom. He had forgotten about that PADD by then. He only glanced at it that morning since he was running late and had accidentally knocked over his stack of PADDs as he was grabbing the ones for class.

He blinked at the words that appeared on the screen: 'new message'. It was first time the PADD had received anything. He read the message quickly. It was a simple, short message requesting his presence at a gala function in celebration of a successful planting and settlement season. He was even scheduled for an appointment with the settlement's tailor. "Fuck me," Jim muttered tossing the PADD back on the desk.

When he appeared for breakfast, it seemed both Joan and Tom had already been notified. They weren't political people. They were simple Starfleet officers. Jim had realized within the first week. They weren't like his mother who had climbed high in the ranks of Starfleet, or his father who was one of the youngest first officers and acting captains before his untimely death. It seemed not everyone in Starfleet was ambitious.

They told him to have fun and don't feel intimidated.

"Don't forget to still be a kid," Joan said as she passed him his cereal.

"Nobody is forcing you to grow up," Thomas added. His initial trepidation had long evaporated.

When he arrived at the tailor after school, he had come up with a thousand different excuses for not wearing a dress. He was not going to wear one of those frilly dresses with lace and trimmings that his cousins and aunts wore. Even his mother wore one long ago. He had seen his parents' wedding picture.

He was greeted by an aging old lady. She was wearing a pair of large specs. It surprised Jim. Nobody wore glasses anymore. She clicked her teeth together at the sight of him. "Jane Davis?" she asked. She seemed annoyed as if he was taking up her time.

Jim nodded.

"You're late. I don't like my clients to be late."

He glanced at the clock. He was barely a minute late. He almost opened his mouth to protest but decided against it. He was in her territory now. She studied him for a long period of time. She circled him as if he was animal or a car for purchase, or maybe more appropriately a piece of artwork to be admired and critique. She clicked her teeth together.

"A little scrawny." She tapped his shoulder blades.

He let out a startled cry when she unrolled a measuring tape around his chest. She seemed most displeased when she read the numbers.

"They always give me the hardest cases." She sighed before rolling the tape measure back up. "A diamond in the rough, they don't call me a visionary for nothing." She stepped in front of him. She placed her hand under his chin and tilted his neck back. She rotated his head back and forth. He wondered what she was looking for. "It's okay sweetheart. Mademoiselle Turner will make you into a princess." She smiled, revealing a set of perfectly straight pearl white teeth.

He most decidedly was not going to be a princess.

She pulled back.

"You have stunning blue eyes. I think a blue dress." She twirled around on the balls of her high heels. She looked like a woman on a mission or even a lion about to pounce on its prey.

It would be the train wreck of all train wrecks. "I would rather wear slacks." Jim countered.

She pivoted back around. She narrowed her eyes. "That's highly… inappropriate for such an occasion." She looked physically wounded. "I make the best dresses. Everyone in the Federation wants my dresses."

Jim was tempted to ask how she ended up on Tarsus IV then of all places. Tarsus was definitely not a place for a tailor. Tarsus was hot, dusty, and everything inevitably became covered in sand. Everyone wore thin layers of clothes that could be washed and dried easily in the baking hot sun.

He instead countered with a more diplomatic approach. "Even in Starfleet, men have the option of wearing dresses for their uniforms. Why can't I have the same option?"

The tailor blinked at him before laughing. "Clever child, I can see why they want you. Alright, a nice blue tie and a black, striped suit, the nice traditional choice, it seems to suit you."

She drew him to off shoot room. There were mirrors on three of the four walls. His blazing blue eyes, dirty blond hair, and lanky body were projected on all three mirrors. He had been avoiding looking at himself in the mirror for almost his entire life. Now, standing in that room as the tailor wandered off to find a suit for him he became aware of all of his imperfections. He tugged at the collar of his t-shirt. The scars that extended throughout his back peeped out. They were the scars that he had received from Frank before he started fighting back.

Tailor Turner returned moments later. She was carrying a large stack of clothes. "Put them on," she said simply. She hung the clothes on the clips that extended along the one wall without a mirror before leaving. Jim ran his fingers through the clothes. They were better than any clothes he had ever own before. They were better than even the clothes that his mother used to dress him in on Sundays and for special occasions. There were blue sequins embedded into the cuff links of the suit. There was an intricate design embroidered into the blue tie.

The pants and undershirt fit almost perfectly. The jacket was near perfect. He did struggle with the tie. It seemed by then Mrs. Turner must have grown impatient for she burst into the room. She seemed to flash ten shades of happiness when she saw him. She clapped her hands delightfully. "Yes, yes… almost perfect."

He wasn't sure how she measured perfection. He ended up staying at the tailor shop for hours. Fuck, by the time she was finally satisfied, the suit that he ended up with was almost nothing like the one he had initially tried on. The only thing that stayed constant was the color of the suit and the tie.

It was nightfall when she finally let him leave his shop. "You'll be the star of the party, child," she said proudly. He didn't want to star in any party. In fact, he didn't even want to go anymore. He was tried from standing. He just wanted to go to sleep.

When he finally reached Kodos' residence, he was surprised how large and different it was from the other residences on Tarsus. Instead of all the other houses that were made from a mixture of clay and sand, this house seemed to be made from brick and steel building structures. It looked like it had been transported straight from Earth. The closer he got the clearer the differences became. Fuck… there was even a swimming pool in the backyard. It was a fucking 'pool party'.

Before he could even knock on the door, it opened for him. There was a man at the door. He seemed displeased. He was holding a PADD. He looked at Jim with his beady, black eyes. "Jane?" He stated more than ask.

"Yes?"

"You're late."

"Sorry?"

"Governor Kodos does not like tardiness." He stated. "Come."

Jim nodded.

"I am Taylor Smith, our gracious governor's first aide."

Jim was tempted to ask if Kodos had more aides.

He was lead through the house. It was actually more of a mansion. It reminded him of the old houses from the 18th century plays that he read. There was even replicated vintage furniture in almost every room. He could identify the stark resemblances to the Shakespearean plays that he had read. He wondered if Kodos was a fan of Shakespeare. Hell, there was even a drawing room with a grand piano in the center.

He was lead thru the back door and into the outdoors patio where the swimming pool was. There were lanterns hanging on all the arches. There was a large grill in the center where stacks of steaks, pork, chicken, fish and a wide assortment of vegetables were currently cooking. He wondered where this food came from. It is vastly different from the daily communal rations that all the families were assigned every day. It looked so delicious and juicy though. He wasn't sure when the last time he had steak was. There were small groups of people standing and talking together in the backyard. They all looked like important people. He never felt more out of place.

"Come. Governor Kodos particularly want to meet you again." The aide set his hand on Jim's shoulder and directed him to the back of the garden.

Unlike all the other faceless people, as they approached the main table, Jim could immediately pick out who was Kodos without being introduced. Kodos was a man of presence. He was one of those men who filled whatever room he was in. He was wearing a deep blood red suit that clashed dramatically with his receding red hair. His red mustache curled into two sharp red tips. He was currently engaged in an animated conversation with a dainty woman in a pale purple strapless dress.

The aide pulled him to a halt before they reached the table. He cleared his throat. Kodos looked up. He looked annoyed. "Governor," he stated.

Kodos blinked. "Yes…" He waved his hand.

"I brought your newest protégé…"

Kodos looked at him. He looked at him with his dark brown eyes. They seemed to be peering deep into his soul. They reminded him so much of Frank in so many ways that he wanted to step back, say he changed his mind, and run away. Kodos smiled at him, or what Jim guessed could pass as a smile.

"Jane," Kodos said enthusiastically. He pushed the woman who he was talking to away before standing up. "Of course." His smile widened. "Come, sit, dine with me." He placed his hand on the chair that his female companion had vacated. He patted the cushion. The aide pushed his forward.

"Don't keep the governor waiting," he hissed.

Jim stumbled in his dress shoes at the force. However he managed to catch himself. It seemed nobody noticed. He slipped into the chair. Kodos smiled. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Err…"

"Fetch us two wines." He snapped his fingers. Jim wondered how any of the waiters could possibly hear. It seemed the aide wondered the same thing. So when Kodos' eyes narrowed and snapped his finger again before speaking, this time his voice was less pleasant. "Well, wine."

The aide nodded. His face turned a bright, tomato shade of red. The aide must have suddenly realized that Kodos was addressing him. Jim watched him disappear into the crowd. Jim felt Kodos place his hand on his shoulder. Even through the many layers of cloth Kodos' hand felt cold. He looked up at Kodos. Kodos smiled down at him. "How are you enjoying the party?"

"It's … pleasant, especially the food."

Kodos laughed. "Yes, the food is grand."

"Not at all like the communal food," Jim added.

"No, of course not, I had it shipped from Earth." Kodos smiled. It didn't reach his eyes though. "And my house?"

"It's very large."

"You're not very direct."

"I..."

Kodos smiled, revealing a set of pearly white teeth. They were so sharp like crocodile teeth. Kodos set his hand on Jim's arm. It was so large and massive over Jim's own thin, scrawny arm. Despite the padding in his suit, he still felt small and insignificant. "I like that." He patted his arm again. "I've been assured by many people here that you are the smartest child here. That you will make a fine replacement when I'm too old to lead our colony."

Jim wasn't sure how to respond. He had never been praised so highly.

"My house… it's inspired by an old Shakespearean play…"

"Macbeth." The word slipped from Jim's lips before he could stop it.

He saw Kodos' eyes widen. "My, my… I have never met a child or even many adults in this day and age who still knows the classics. Have you read many? I have a whole library of books. Come," Kodos grabbed Jim's arm and literally pulled him up. It seemed only then that Kodos noticed what he was wearing. "How ever did you manage to convince our divine tailor to let you come in a suit? She loves her dresses."

Jim shrugged. "It wasn't hard."

"You are a smart child." At that moment, the aide returned bearing two large wine glasses. Kodos plucked them from the aide's hands and waved him away lazily. Jim watched him march away. He saw the lingering hatred in his eyes that was directed at him. He guessed he had just made his first enemy. He had lasted longer than ever before.

Kodos maneuvered him along. He was a graceful man. Jim could easily see how he had risen to the position he was currently holding. He was young and ambitious. Kodos led him back into his house. They stopped in the drawing room where the grand piano was. "My mother used to play when I was a child. Do you play?"

Jim shook his head. His grandmother used to play. She tried teaching him when he was little. He was too impatient to sit on the bench for long, so she gave up. Sam, Sam who was always more patient than he was, learned to play beautifully, but that was before Frank. Before Sam started lashing out at the world, before he ran away from home.

"That's too bad." Kodos grip tightened. "Maybe, we could find someone to teach you. "A successful ruler needs to be well versed." Later, Jim would wonder why at that moment when Kodos said 'ruler', it didn't cause warning lights to flash through his head. Maybe it was the wine he was sipping. It was making his head dizzy, or maybe it was the lights. They were so hot and stifling.

Kodos glided him along. They stopped in front of a set of double oak doors. Kodos seemed to positively radiate with excitement. "This is my favorite room in the house. I hope someday you will also grow to love it." He pressed his hand against the sensor. Jim watched as it lit up. It was almost as if it was the ancient meeting the present. The sensor lit up. The doors swung open.

Jim let out a large gasp. Within the room were rows and rows of books… real books. Jim had never seen a real book before. Everything he had read he had downloaded onto his PADD. Kodos set his hand on Jim's shoulder. "This is my collection. It holds the wonders and secrets of the past."

Jim couldn't think of a response.

Kodos led him inside. It seemed Kodos had a purpose. They walked through many aisles before stopping at a bookshelf crammed full of large tombs. Kodos reached for a book. It was large and thick. There was a picture of a man during one of the darker days of Earth's history. "Adolf Hitler, he's a great and powerful man."

Great was not the word Jim would use to describe Hitler. History described Hitler as anything but great.

"He was a visionary. He believed in the creation of a superior race. What do you think about a world where only the best, the strongest, and the brightest live?" Kodos asked. He seemed to be positively fondling the book. "Don't you grow tired of talking to the average person? They don't understand us. They only pull us back, prevent us from reaching our fullest potential."

Kodos seemed to be positively glimmering with excitement as if he had met a kindred spirit. At that moment, Jim should have grown concerned, but the wine was so strong, and Kodos' voice was smoothing as he started reading passages of Hitler's words.

By the end of summer, Jim found himself spending more and more time in Kodos' library of ancient treasures. There were many days when he wouldn't return to the Riley's house. One of Kodos' servants would set a plate of food outside the library for him. He ate lavishly. It seemed Kodos wasn't subjugated to the same communal food supply as everyone else in the colony.

So, when he finally did wander into the Riley's house and found Kevin crying, he really had no idea. The little boy was all alone. He wondered where his parents had gotten to. They rarely left him alone.

Jim sat down beside the boy. "Kevin, what's wrong?" He really wondered if Kevin would tell him. He had been spending so much time at Kodos' mansion that they never really formed a strong bond. Kevin still asked him to read him bedtime stories the nights that he did come back tho. Kevin had long conceded the point that books weren't boring.

Kevin let out a sob before looking up at Jim. "My pumpkin," he muttered.

Jim blinked, confused. "What happened to your pumpkin?"

"It's sick," Kevin let out a larger sob. "Mommy says we have to cut it off. It's dying."


End file.
